The Shocking Truth About Tipping in America
Tipping is one of the many things that usually shock first-time visitors to America. Back in Europe where I grew up, tipping was a reward for good service. It also was optional, not mandatory! Besides, it was never greater than 5%–10% in restaurants, or just some small change for cab drivers, porters, barbers and hairdressers.
But the tipping system in America is a totally different ball game than in Europe. First of all, because it’s not considered a “reward,” but rather a humanitarian act intended to improve the welfare of low paid workers! That may come as a big shock to visitors from other countries, where tipping is not customary.
The practice of tipping has become so embedded in the American culture, that certain workers take gratuity for granted. So much so, that they will show outrage if they are not tipped. If you are a foreigner who “dared” not to tip at some point, you probably know what I’m talking about!
Is Tipping in America Getting Out of Hand?
Americans don’t think twice about handing over 15% – 20% of their bill after eating out in a restaurant. In the US you are expected to cough up a tip any time you receive a service. From bartenders, waiters, bellmen, and valets to delivery people, parking attendants, hairdressers, and manicurists, more and more people are getting in line for your wallet. Lately even baby-sitters, mailmen, massage therapists, and acupuncturists expect a tip!
Tipping in No Longer Voluntary in America
If you live in the USA you should expect to be asked for money contributions quite often. Fundraisings, church donations, charities, cancer research, boy scouts, the list goes on and on. But what most of us never expected is being asked to leave a tip.
If you used your credit card in a small business location lately, you might have noticed a mobile-payment system that prompts you to a screen asking you to leave a tip of 15%, 20%, or 25% of your total. It looks something like this:
Of course, you may choose to leave no tip, but the scrutinizing eye of the clerk behind the register will surely make you feel like a jerk.
And did you also notice the omnipresent tipping jars that sprang up like mushrooms after the rain in almost every store? They are clearly marked: TIPS. So as not to be mistaken for trash cans! From bakeries, to coffee shops, to delis and pizzerias, the word has spread that if you put them out, they will be filled. And indeed they are, because most people feel ashamed to simply ignore them.
Way back when, tipping used to be about appreciation and generosity and at the customer’s discretion. But not anymore! Like many other things in America, tipping is also becoming an entitlement.
To Tip or Not to Tip, That Is the Question
After such a rant you probably think that I am against tipping, but you’d be wrong. I always consider the tipping etiquette of each country when I travel. Even here, in the United States where I live. However, I believe in tipping as an incentive or a reward, not as an entitlement or a substitute for poor wages. Nor do I believe that every service I receive should be tipped. Where would we get if we started tipping all those who work in public service?
Most people these days tip mainly to conform with the social norms and not because they feel an impulse to do it. Or they tip in order to avoid bad service in the future, in case they decide to return to that place again. And you can’t blame them. When the average cost of a dinner for two is over $100 and a a basic haircut costs anywhere from $60 -$189 (depending on your location), how much more room is there for a tip?
Let’s Get to the Point
America’s tipping system is obviously headed in the wrong direction. Leaving a gratuity is no longer optional, it’s now pretty much mandatory. We are constantly reminded that we have to tip our servers because they make half of the minimum wage, so their livelihood depends on us.
First of all, that’s not always true. In California for instance, the tipped minimum wage is just a few cents below the standard minimum wage. And even if it were true, why should that be the customer’s concern?
If restaurants paid their servers correctly, maybe we could start tipping for the good reasons, rather than for guilt and shame. And if the servers had a decent wage, maybe we could hire some professional waiters who know their job and do it with passion, rather than a bunch of college students looking to make an extra buck in their spare time!
One thing to keep in mind is that some restaurants let the servers keep their tips, but others pool them and divide them according to the owner’s wishes (meaning he/she can underpay line cooks, busboys and dishwashers as well). The direct relationship between tip received and money pocketed is illusory.
And please don’t tell me that good service means asking how my food is just as I am swallowing my first bite. Or hit me with the check and the candid “whenever you are ready” phrase, while I still have half a glass of wine on the table. And in case you are curios what a good waiter is, read this post!
Whom Should You Tip in America and How Much
The Waiters and Bartenders
I don’t think twice about tipping the waitstaff in a restaurant. Unless the service was terrible, I’ll add 15% tip to the bill, BEFORE the tax. Yes, that’s right, you DON’T have to pay tip on the tax.
If the service was unacceptably bad, don’t pay any tip. I had a couple of incidents over the years when the service was unacceptably bad, so I didn’t want to tip. However, I called the waiter and explained to him why he wasn’t going to receive a tip from me. I believe it’s fair to tip according to the service I receive, not according to some arbitrary guidelines imposed by the restaurants.
The Hairdresser/Barber
It’s fair to leave a 10% -15% tip to a hairdresser who works on commission at a hair salon. However, if the hairdresser is the owner of the salon she shouldn’t be tipped at all. As the owner she can charge whatever she considers right for her services. Nonetheless, all salon owners in California or New York expect a tip of minimum of 20%.
Porters and Vallets
I always tip the porter who helps me carry a big cart to my room and unloads my ski equipment. But tipping the valet who jumps to take my small carry on out of the trunk and then drops it next to me on the sidewalk, it’s not necessary.
Other Services I Tip
As a rule, I always tip someone who does something special, or extra for me. For instance, if the FedEx guy helps me carry a heavy package inside, he deserves a tip. But if he just drops it on my porch, he only did his job. Or if the mailman returns to deliver a package that requires a signature because he just saw me coming home, he deserves a tip.
Services for Which You Shouldn’t Tip
People LOVE those who give them money, especially when they didn’t do anything to deserve it. But that doesn’t mean that you should do it. Not everyone who thinks they deserve a tip should receive one. Here is a list of services that don’t require a tip:
- cable guys
- mailmen
- plumbers
- electricians
- independent tour guides
- travel agents
- Uber drivers
- flight attendants
- boat captains and pilots
- FedEx and UPS delivery guys
- airport shuttle drivers
- movers.
All these services are fairly well compensated, so you don’t need to tip these people unless they did something special for you, something outside their duty or job description.
Also, don’t feel ashamed to ignore the tip jar at the deli store, pizzeria, Starbucks, or other places. The fact that someone would welcome your tip doesn’t mean that you are expected to pay it.
So what happens if you don’t tip in America? In most cases you’ll just get a disapproving look, like you are a scum. But I heard stories about waiters who chase their customers to the door and yelled at them for not leaving a tip.
Tipping is about doing what you think it’s fair, not about what others think it’s right. But if you feel compelled to tip just anybody for their friendliness or personal service, by all means do it! And you can start with me, because I believe I deserve a tip for opening your eyes about tipping in America. How about that?
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Alina
This blog post really captures the complexities of tipping in America! I’ve often wondered about the unwritten rules and how they differ across various service sectors. It’s fascinating to see how cultural expectations shape our choices. Thanks for shedding light on such an important topic!
College Brawl
I completely agree with the blog post on tipping in America. Growing up in a different country, I always found it confusing why Americans tip so much. But after reading this post, I understand the historical and cultural reasons behind it. It’s interesting to see how tipping has evolved over time and how it varies across different industries. As a reader, I learned a lot from this post and will definitely keep these tips in mind the next time I’m in America.
soundoftext
I completely agree with the author’s point on the confusion surrounding tipping in America. I’ve lived here for a while, and I still find myself struggling to know when and how much to tip. It’s great to have a comprehensive guide like this to reference. Thanks for sharing!
Shawn Tolkski
As an American, I understand the frustrations with tipping. That being said, we can cherry pick frustrations with every country over a local norm that would be be considered outrageous in our home countries. Traveling to other countries always entails different norms and costs (paying a euro to use a bathroom for example). While I don’t disagree with the sentiment, I think we all need to be mindful of this.
Chris
I agree, we should tip for a service if the server wen beyond their scope of work. If a waiter served my order I believe, I already paid for the service wen I purchased the meal. The fact that the restaurant owner is pocketing more profit by paying their waiters less is not my problem, is the servers problem to negotiate their rate. But if a server goes beyond there scope of service and dose an excellent job a 10% gratitude seams fair. Tips should be a reward not a substitute for low wages, that’s what the responsibility of the restaurant to adequately compensate their workers and the employees job to negotiate during the hiring process. As a consumer we are already paying inflated prices for a sit down dining expecting that the hire price includes the service
Molly
Just so you know, servers and bartenders do pay taxes on all tips they receive. They are also expected to tip out all support staff and the entire back of house staff ( meaning line cooks, prep cooks, dishwasher) from a percentage of their sales. So for you not leaving a tip of leaving a smaller tip it’s them paying for you to eat there. Unfortunately the way to keep getting service at a restaurant is to keep tipping your servers to keep the entire restaurant happy. Maybe get the facts right next time my friend.
Anda
I understand your frustration, if you depend on these tips. However, you have to be aware that the system in this country is wrong. Maybe if restaurant owners would pay their workers wright, we won’t be having the problem of “undertipping.” In Asia tipping is not customary and in Europe it’s only a few dollars (rounding up to the nearest figure), or at the most 10% in high-end restaurants.
Ashley Szalanski
Just the other day someone in a Facebook group shared their “wall of shame” in their bar. People who didn’t tip well (or at all). I was shocked with the amount of support she got for such a distasteful post.
I told her a wall of shame should be reserved for people who stole something or didn’t pay their tab at all! It’s BS how we can’t go somewhere and pay our bill in full, and not be looked at like scum for NOT leaving extra money! Paying the bill should be all that’s required of everyone.
I do tip, fairly well. But only because I frequent many places near my house to the point where lots of servers know me and I obviously can’t have the stigma of being a bad tipper looming over my head. How can we change this?
Anda Galffy
Thanks for your comment, Ashley. It’s a pretty sad thing that we’ve got to the point of tipping out of shame and guilt. I think this can only be changed by paying the servers a decent wage. Everywhere I travel outside the USA the tip is included in the bill, but of course it’s not 15% or 29%. It’s something like 4%-5% which is called a “service charge” on top of which you can choose to leave something extra if you were happy with the service. It honestly gives me pleasure to tip an extra 7%-8% extra when I receive good service, but being required to tip is really outrageous.
Mika R
Great article! They have a good system in Asia where you are not allowed to tip. They get a decent wage and basically only do their job and don’t go beyond like the food service in America does. Also, you get a table bell, so you can call the food service staff only when you want them at your table.
It’s a system that needs to be implemented around the food. I just ordered from Panera and they always expect tip. it’s crazy.
Anda Galffy
I agree with you, Mika. Something needs to change, but I think it would take a revolution to abolish tipping in America.
Ami Bhat
I will admit that I am a dunce when it comes to tipping. Every place has such different norms and I find it so difficult to figure out how much and where to tip. And yes, if you don’t you are made to feel like …..never mind! Glad you added your tips to this – if I ever get to US, will know how much to shell out now
Jennifer Melroy
In some places the waiters are now expecting a 20+ plus% tip minimum. I had a bartender in DC who handed me the slip back and told me that the new standard for tipping was 25%. He didn’t like my response. I signed the slip and wrote no tip. Sorry be happy you got a tip for the beer you didn’t even pour properly.
Anda Galffy
Hahaha, good for you, Jennifer! It’s unbelievable how far this has gone in America.
Suruchi Mittal
I am so happy to read your article and good that somebody spoke about it. I too feel tipping is paid as a gratitude or reward and not to raise the standards. 15%- 25% is really really high. I can well imagine the reaction of that clerk behind the table. It is so weird when you don’t want to tip but you have to, just out of shame or as a norm.
Indrani
Good you blogged on this. Tipping was irritating me and draining my pocket often. I am going to ignore it and tip only when I see an extreme case. Here in India too people expect that kind of tip unfortunately.
Medha
You know what, this post reminded me of what happened with us in Canada (I think it was in Quebec City). We were at a restaurant and though we usually tip out of habit, we obviously did not realise that its more of an expectation out there rather than a good gesture. Anyway, we tipped about 10% at a restaurant and while we were walking out, we were chased by the waiter, who was quite offended and asked us “what did I do wrong”? We were really confused at first and then he asked us ‘you did not tip 15%, if I did not do anything wrong then why did you give only 10%”? I was so shocked by that attitude, I cannot tell you! Tipping is supposed to be a gesture, not an expectation and certainly you should not be coerced into doing it, right?!
Anda Galffy
I’ve heard way too often the story of tourists who are being chased by waiters for not tipping enough. It’s shameful! That’s why I wrote this post.
sara
I agree with you tipping should be a reward for good service, not to subsidise a pathetic pay packet.
I get a little over the tipping situation when I visit the USA. We do tip in Australia, but it is for going above and beyond. There have been two times where I haven’t tipped in a restaurant in the USA, and that was due to bad service. They seem amazed that we didn’t leave a tip.
Anda Galffy
We don’t eat out very often, but when we do we usually tip 15%, but not more. There were however a few instances when we received unacceptable service and we called the waiter after we paid and told him clearly in the face why we didn’t tip him.
Kirstie
I love your thoughts about the “tipping culture”. It is indeed tipping in the bad direction. I think people should stop feeling obliged to tip and that workers should stop expecting getting a tip, if people tip less, workers would try to give you a better customer service to “earn” it. That’s what a tip is for! You earn it because you did well! It defeats the purpose if we tip because of what others might think.
sherianne
HA! I love this. I live in the US and agree with you. Wait staff actually make more money than i do with a Master Degree. It’s ridiculous. But here’s the thing, you get good at saying no and brushing off the guilt. I made a purchase at a store and there was a tip jar, I actually looked the clerk in the eye and said ‘you expect me to tip you for taking my money to pay for an item, are you fucking serious? Not happening’. It’s out of control.
Anda Galffy
Good for you! I feel like confronting these workers behind the “tip jar” so often, but I’m kind of embarrassed.
Medha
I agree with you – tipping doesn’t seem ‘voluntary’ anymore. I understand that people expect to be tipped for their services but the word itself should mean it is at the discretion of the person who has received the service! I remember at a restaurant (in Canada though, not in the US), we paid a tip which apparently wasn’t up to the standards set by the restaurant and the manager actually literally accosted us down the road to ask us why we didn’t pay as per their rules. I mean, come on, shouldn’t I have the right to decide how much I want to tip for the service I’ve received?!
Anda Galffy
Yea, I agree. That’s absolutely ridiculous!
Ami Bhat
The truth be told, this is the same case everywhere. It’s like a moral obligation to tip even if you are not happy with things. Eyebrows raised if you don’t. I am actually learning to ignore those looks now and do as I please!
Cat
I am from Asia and this is the biggest problem for me to get used to. Canada has a tipping culture too and I hate it. Why can’t the company pay its staff a decent amount so they don’t have to rely on tipping for a living? Tipping should be optional and only be offered when the service is exceptional!
Paige
As an American, I completely agree that our tipping is OUT OF CONTROL! I hate that it’s just a given that everyone is supposed to tip even if someone does a crap job. When in reality it’s a cop out for restaurant owners and employers to make its patrons pay their employee’s wages essentially – and this is coming from someone who worked in food service for almost a decade. It’s bull. So know that you’re not alone.
Siddhartha Joshi
Well, I am glad you wrote this post…someone had to 🙂 When I was a student in US, it took me quote sometime to understand that thought you tipped for a service, it had nothing to do with the quality of service. Once I didn’t tip a cab guy (I never occurred to me to do that) and he almost abused me 😛
Anda Galffy
Quite sad that you had such a bad experience in the US, Joshi. After writing this article, many people began revealing their thoughts about tipping in the US.
Lauren
I totally hear you! In Canada, it’s the same as the USA. I feel like many of these employees should be paid better so it shouldn’t be left to us to help pay their salaries. I’m so used to it though that it’s amazing to me when I travel somewhere where tipping isn’t expected like it is at home.
Punita Malhotra
This is a very interesting article and does clarify so many grey areas about tipping in America. I have seen Americans following the same practice in other part of the world too, where tipping practices are quite different (and not at all compulsary).
Mimi & Mitch
Totally understand your poitn of view. The most frustrating is when people don’t work at all to deserve their tip. Being rude and disrespectful… how can they expect a tip after that? Some would scream after you….
Julie
Being from Australia, every time I visit the US I am perplexed by the compulsory tipping thing. To me employers should pay people a living wage and tipping should be for great service, something of which is often hard to find in the US.
Rob+Ann at TravelLatte(.net)
Interesting conversations. I don’t remember who said it, but the bits about feeling guilty remind me of these words: People only have the power that you give them. I routinely do not tip, or tip “commensurate with experience.” I only feel guilty about it when I feel they deserved a tip but I didn’t have the cash. Shame on me for not tipping, or tipping poorly? No, shame on you for not earning it. In some situations, shame on you for thinking you’re entitled to it. That said, I do tip generously when you’ve done a great job. I’ve been there; I remember how great it feels to work hard for somebody and earn that tip. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s the mindset of many in the industry today. – Rob.
Anda Galffy
Yea, I feel the same way, Rob.
Sand In My Suitcase
You’ve written a great post on tipping and how different cultures view tipping differently. We frankly get a little annoyed about the idea that tipping is part of the salary of servers and people in the service industry. Shouldn’t the hotel or restaurant be paying a fair wage to begin with? It’s nice to think that when you tip, it’s an extra for good service, a way of saying “thank you,” rather than an expectation and part of the “wage.” But that’s the way it is here in North America…
We recently sailed with Scenic Cruises on a French river trip from Paris to Normandy. Aussies, we’ve learned, aren’t used to tipping. Scenic Cruises is Australian-based and one of the most deluxe of the European river cruise companies — and tipping is part of the all-inclusive fare. Even the local guides onshore explained that the cruise company had tipped them generously and we shouldn’t tip.
Anda Galffy
I think including the tip in the all inclusive fare is better. At least you don’t have to worry about it and you know right up front what you have to pay.
Victoria @TheBritishBerliner
Ha! Ha! I hear you. I’ve just found you, but this is a really good post.
I’m British, and live in Germany. A few years ago, we went to America for the first time, and even though we knew that tips are a thing in the US, we weren’t prepared for how “open” everyone was about it. In some cases, the prices weren’t even on the bill, and we felt compelled to tip heavily all the same.
In fact, the minute the staff knew that we were European, they made it their business to explain how important the tips were! To make it worse, each state seemed to have a different tax system, and we visited 4 of them, so it was just confusing.
As a British person, I believe that I’m already generous with giving 10-20% for great service, so it’s a bit of a slap in the face to ask for more. Moreover, Americans should just pay their staff better, just like they do in any other “advanced industrial” state, and then we can all sleep better at night.
Anda Galffy
Yea, tell me about it, Victoria. I always considered that it’s shameful to take advantage of tourists who visit your country and don’t know the customs of the place. But to suggests bigger tips than even we pay here, in America, it’s outrageous. Thanks for dropping by.
Agness of e Tramping
Hey, Anda. Thanks for the exceptional post. I wasn’t aware that this is such a big thing in America and it’s great to know prior to going there. Until now, we’ve been used to giving tips only as a result of an excellent service.
Laryssa
Great post. I tip in a restaurant according to service. I’ve also been known not to leave a tip. What I dislike the most is when during Christmas time the newspaper delivery person leaves an envelope in my paper which means they are requesting a tip.
Anda Galffy
I still haven’t heard about this one, Larissa. That guy has some guts, what can I say.
Susan
I do think it’s a shame that tipping has come to compensate for low wages. As you say, if only people were paid a decent wage in the first place, then the customer wouldn’t be expected to fill in the gap. We’ve received great, average and poor service in the States but we’re always expected to tip the same amount which seems a bit bizarre
Lolo
One of the many aspects of living in the US I don’t miss! We still tip here in Germany but only for good service. And I’m a stickler for this. I was once given terrible service here in Germany and when we were still forced to pay, and I didn’t tip, then the stupid waiter asked if everything was alright, knowing damn well it wasn’t.
Anda Galffy
I know what you are saying, Lolo. Once, in Barcelona, we have been treated so poorly at a restaurant and the food was so miserable, that we both stood up, called the manager and told them we can’t eat that kind of food and don’t accept to be treated like that and left. He couldn’t say anything, he had to swallow it.
Linda Bibb
Because our children work in the service industry, we like to tip generously. However, if a service charge is already included, we pay only that. TIPS was originally meant “To Insure Prompt Service,” but it’s degenerated to the point that restaurant owners expect the patrons to pay their employees’ salaries! The sad fact is that minimum wage for American servers is $2.13 per hour, so they need the tips to survive. I don’t see any way to change that, do you?
Anda Galffy
The point of this article is not to withhold tips from those who deserve them, but to raise awareness about the increasing number of services in this country that are becoming dependent on tips. I buy a $4 coffee which I pick up myself and I am expected to leave $2 tip for it. I pick up my own food at a buffet and I have to leave a tip at the cash register, when I pay for it. If I pick up my clothes from dry cleaning there is a tipping jar there too. Where is this going to stop? I am worried about this because I can’t keep up with it anymore. It is obvious that this tipping system is not working for anybody because all the parties involved seem to be unhappy.
Linda Bibb
Far be it from me to defend the practice. I find tipping to be an abominable practice, and what I resent most of all is that owners won’t pay their employees a fair wage – there’s really no excuse. To me it’s like saying “you make money from the patrons, so why should I pay you?”
And like you said, what can you do when you want to compliment a really fine waiter? You sure can’t do it with your wallet, that much is obvious.
On a related tangent, the worst culprits are the Egyptians. They call it baksheesh, and you can’t do ANYTHING without someone having his hand out. I mean, someone tells you to be careful, and he wants a tip for his advice. In the Valley of the Kings, the guards used flashlights to point things out to people who wanted to be left alone – where’s my baksheesh? Dirty bathrooms, and the attendant won’t let you in without baksheesh. God help us all if America ever degenerates to this level of selfishness. It’s horrible enough as it is.
Anda Galffy
Yea, you are right, Linda. Well, I don’t foresee America will ever get there, but still …
Anisa
I really wish the service providers in the US got a better salary! I do think that tipping has gotten out of hand. Some restaurants in NYC started a no tips policy but then they just added the amount into the price. That’s not right either.
Anda Galffy
I totally agree, Anisa. Adding the huge tax to the already high menu prices will keep customers away.
Elaine J Masters
The situation is definitely worth a rant and it truly pays to check your bill carefully. In San Diego there’s another cost included that’s not usually on the menu and knowing how thin margins can be, I understand. Restaurant are charging extra for costs related to raising the minimum wage.
Patricia King
You are wrong about Uber.
“The Uber app does not include a tip when billing you for a trip fare. In most cities, Uber is a cashless experience. … Tips are not included in the fare, nor are they expected or required. As a rider, you are not obligated to offer your driver a gratuity in cash,” according to the website.
That no-tipping thing was the legacy of the frat boy mentality by Travis Kalenick & company.
I was an Uber driver. I paid for ALL expenses. If you get in MY car to go 2 blocks, I end up with $1.50 to $2.50 after all fees. Not to mention passenger’s attitudes.
That said, I hate this tipping system.
Lorri
I find mandatory tipping a nuisance!
Sally's Tips 4 Trips
The whole tipping thing is so confusing. In Australia, we don’t really tip. If we go out for a VERY nice meal then maybe a 10% tip and there’s usually a tip jar in a coffee shop which people will through their loose change into – though it’s not expected. No other service industry gets tips. We have laws that everybody must receive at least minimum wage. So when we Aussies travel we struggle with tipping, so when an Australian ask how much to tip please don’t be offended – it’s just not our culture.
Anda Galffy
That’s the problem, Sally. When tourists from across the world come to America they are absolutely bewildered by our tipping system. They end up by either over-tipping, or not tipping at all because they are outraged.
Esther
Personally, I like it better when I receive the bill and it says ‘service included’, then you know the waiter gets his part and you don’t have to fuss over what you give (I hardly have change with me, this is a problem when tipping!). I carefully ignore the tipping tins at places like coffee shops, it seems like charging €4 for a small coffee is enough! The tipping in the US drove me mental. First of all, most prices shown are excl taxes, so when you come to the register you get the price plus tax ánd then you’re expected to tip, crazy. Just add 10% of 15% to the bill and have ‘service included’ much more customer friendly!
Anda Galffy
I agree, Esther. The price you see advertised is not the price you pay when you get the bill, which is a nuisance.
Rhonda Albom
I was so used to tipping in the USA and then I moved to New Zealand. Wait staff are paid a living wage. Prices are what you see is what you’re charged. Tax is included and no tip expected.
Michelle
Haha, I love it when you get all riled up and sarcastic, Anda. Go get ’em! We don’t have a culture of tipping in my country (or in Asia in general), so I always just go with whatever seems to be market practice when I travel. E.g. in New York, I heard that you should tip double the tax in restaurants. Surprised to learn that you’re expected to tip so many people! Hairdressers and manicurists, really?! It’s probably a function of rising living costs and wages not increasing enough to make up for it. But instead of employers who should step up and pay people a decent wage, it falls on the man on the street.
Anda Galffy
I agree, Michelle. However, other than the restaurant servers, all the other services get at least the minimum wage, but they still expect to be tipped.
Suzanne (PhilaTravelGirl)
interesting perspective on tipping. yes it goes overboard in the US. I worked as a waitress in college and after to pay for school/travel so my experience is different having to rely on tips and understanding the revenue margins are slim that if they raised food costs many of my customers would perceive it too expensive and not return. I will give cash tip to good servers.
Seattle now has some restaurants automatically add 20% on the bill to “pay the staff”. it was a surprise to me – I couldn’t decide the amount nor could I add more.
I definitely ignore the tip jars that I think are ridiculous and have no problem hitting “no tip” on the iPad checkout for my cookie. I do tip Ubers just like I would taxis.
for me it’s about service and recognizing it accordingly (tip, thank you note, chat with hotel/restaurant manager (good and bad service), chocolate/cookies, liquor, etc) around the world.
Caroline
Thank you for a great article. I am Danish, my boyfriend is from NYC, so we spend a great deal of time there. I HATE the tipping system as it makes no sense for me. You covered all the reasons why the tipping system sucks. If you are being charged 80 dollars for a meal at a medium scale restaurant, you shouldn’t be expected to leave 15-20 dollars in tip. A few dollars would be sufficient. Like, the service sucks 9/10 times, so I feel like I am paying 20 dollars in tips for being served a glass of water for free. Thanks… 😉
Anda Galffy
Thank you, Caroline. I appreciate your input. I think it is up to us, the customers to straighten up things. If we continue to tip under pressure, things will get to a point of no return in this country.
Scott - Quirky Travel Guy
I agree that tipping is out of control in the U.S. However, so much of your agreement is based on how things should be versus how they actually are.
That server is counting on your tips to be able to pay her bills and put food on her table. Why should that be your responsibility? In a perfect world, it shouldn’t be. But we don’t live in a perfect world. In the real world, she desperately needs your tips. You can take a principled stand and refuse to tip her. Or you can be a compassionate human being and leave the 15℅. If that bothers anyone, go to places (fast food, grocery stores) that don’t require tipping. Someday, when all the minimum wage laws change, we won’t have to tip. But for now, as much as you and I dislike it, that’s the way it is.
Also, Uber drivers absolutely do not receive a good compensation for the work they do, and tips are absolutely not included in the fare. This is why there’s an option to tip in the Uber app now. Most of your other examples I agree with.
Anda Galffy
My argument is not about tipping or not tipping, Scott. It is about the fact that tipping is becoming compulsory in our country and threatens to defeat the very purpose for which it was intended. We have been indoctrinated over the past decades with the idea that we have to tip in order to compensate for poor wages. I think that’s absolutely insane. Are we redefining “tipping?” Where I come from that is called charity, not tipping. If I feel compelled to give money to a poor person, there are other ways I can do it. I don’t have to go to a restaurant and order a plate of food. Your idea of going to fast food places or grocery stores in order to avoid tipping is ridiculous too. Have you been at a pizzeria or deli store lately? The unmistakable “tipping jar” will great you at the door. Lately I get a vibe from almost every person working behind a counter at an eatery, or coffee shop that they expect a tip.
Lydia C. Lee
I find the tipping in the US really stressful. I discovered they are taxed at an expectation income, which means if you don’t tip, they still pay money on what you didn’t tip. I find this disgusting and backwards and I don’t understand why minimum wage is unacceptably low. Meant to be a great first world country and they don’t even pay a proper wage to look after their own people. So I loved in Hawaii that they gave me a chart so I knew what to pay. I HATED the stress I went into with the maid, bag guy, taxis – who do I tip? How much? Was I ripping people off? If I carried my own bag was I stopping them making a living? Ugh. I even had to track down a guy who showed me to my room because I only had a fifty. It is just stressful and unpleasant. Pay a proper wage and then we can tip for good service only, and rarely, and if we feel so inclined.
Anda Galffy
You shouldn’t fall into the trap of guilt tipping, Lydia. There are some services where tipping is customary, like waiters, bartenders, bellmen, valets. However, you can’t worry about every single service person you come in contact with. As for the waiters being taxed at an expected income, that’s entirely false. Nobody pays taxes for money they never received. However, because they receive many tips in cash, the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) is trying to calculate their tips based on the sales declared by the restaurant. In this case, the waiter may have to report some money during the year which in reality he/she didn’t earn yet. But at the end of the year their taxes are calculated only on the income they actually declared they received. As far as I know, many waiters actually declare less than they actually make because it’s quite difficult for the IRS to determine what they make to the cent.
shere
The tipping in USA is crazy. Tipping even waste collectors??!! In The Netherlands a tip is expected in a restaurant, but the amount is up to you. Sometimes you just round it to the next -0 amount. So it can be just like 1€. Indeed, if the service was good, then you leave more money.
Ruth | Tanama Tales
Like you said, things are getting out of control. Mailmen? UPS workers? Really? There should be laws banning some people from receiving tips. Or, at least, it should be somewhere in companies’ policy.
My sister worked on the restaurant industry for more than 10 years. So, I have waiters and waitresses on a special spot on my heart. It is not necessarily because of the wages they receive but because of the treatment they get from customers. Sometimes, the wages do not reflect the hardships of the position. But, I do not feel obligated to tip the max amount if I receive lousy service. Plus, 18% or 20%? Where are we going?
And, since you mentioned the tip jars, I would never leave money in there. There is no guarantee the money will be distributed among employees who offer services. From experience, I know several business owners take that money for themselves.
Lyn aka The Travelling Lindfields
Haha – I love the way you say you deserve a tip at the end. It makes your point very well. As an Australian the whole tipping thing in the US is beyond confusion for me. In Oz we tip waiters 10% -15% if the meal and service was exceptional. We have a high minimum wage here so, in theory, no-one needs tips to survive. We also have a much more do-it-yourself attitude to carrying our bags in hotels. Because of the high minimum wages there usually aren’t as many porters and other people around wanting to do things for you which most people are perfectly capable of doing for themselves. As a general rule I hate the service in American restaurants. It sounds strange but I find the waiters too over-friendly. I am always suspicious that all that fawning is just to increase their tip. I would rather the waiters were just friendly in an ordinary way. Having said that David and I love tipping generously in poor countries. We have just come back from South Africa and service staff there always seemed genuinely happy when we tipped them.
Anda Galffy
The truth is that it’s a pleasure to tip people who deserve it, Lyn. I always feel compelled to compensate someone who did a great job or did something extra for me. My argument in this post is not about tipping or not tipping. It is about tipping for the good reason, not out of charity, and tipping because you want to. Not because it is imposed to you, or expected.
Claire
I’m the same as you. I’m a customer and want to pay for the food I ate, not pay the wage of the staff. You own the place, you pay their wages!
I remember one time in New York a ‘waiter’ came out and chased us. Not because we didn’t leave a tip but because we didn’t leave ENOUGH of a tip! Mate it was a grilled cheese sandwich from a train station sandwich place. In England I would have taken my change. Be grateful you got anything from me!
Anda Galffy
I’ve heard many people saying that they have been scolded or ashamed for not leaving enough cash. It is unbelievable. Tipping should be optional, not imposed. Yes, there are some services that require tipping, but assuming that someone has to tip you a certain amount is ridiculous.
Debbra Dunning Brouillette
This is a very well-written and comprehensive post about tipping, Anda. I agree with you. When tipping in a restaurant, another dilemma is do you tip on the whole check or on the amount less the tax that’s added on? You mentioned Uber drivers in the list of those not to tip. I’ve never used Uber so may need to be educated. Are they different in some way than a regular taxi driver who expects a tip? Thanks again for your post.
Anda Galffy
Thanks for commenting,Debbie. For Uber the bill is paid upfront and it’s an agreed amount that supposedly includes a tip. When you order an uber you have to tell them from where to where you go and they will tell you how much the cost will be. The amount is automatically deducted from your credit card on file, so there is no need for you anymore to open your wallet.
Debbra Dunning Brouillette
Thanks for enlightening me on that, Anda! Good to know if I ever book an Uber ride. What about my question about tipping on the whole check or the amount less tax? Do you have an opinion?
Anda Galffy
Sorry, Debbie, I didn’t realize that was a question. No, I don’t tip on the tax and you are not expected to do it. After writing this article many people may start to believe I am stingy, but I am not. I don’t see tipping as a charitable act, but as a manner of rewarding excellent service or extra work. As a rule, I always tip those whom I feel work hard to please me, even though most of the time they basically just do their job. However, I don’t feel compelled to fill up every tip jar I come across.